100 Coping Tools For You and Your Family
Big Emotions? Triggering Events?
Not sure what to do?
We know about self-care and how important it is to carve out “me-time” that fills our cup. For some people this looks like bubble baths, long walks in nature, talking to a friend, etc.
But what about more immediate needs when stuff is happening? Or just after some triggering event? Or when our child is experiencing big emotions and they need to regulate, or you as a parent need to regulate?
We need sensory calming tools that are known to down-regulate our nervous system.
An amped-up nervous system isn’t able to parent at its best.
Because, when our nervous system is “negatively” activated (for layman’s terms here…), what happens in the body is a cascade of responses including the shutting off of the rational brain or pre-frontal cortex. Some experts use the phrase “when emotions go up, intelligence goes down” simply to denote how we make less rational or supportive choices when we are in the throes of emotional experiences. And here’s the deal – we always have emotions! It’s just that some knock us out of our self-regulated element. And then, we sometimes say things or do things we regret later…
And for kids, well, the brain doesn’t fully mature until age 25+, so learning about Coping Tools and developing Coping Skills EARLY IN LIFE, gives our kids an advantage to face the ups and downs of life. I am a Certified Wisdom Coach™ for kids focussing my practice on pre-teens, and I say that it gives them the skills BEFORE they need to use them – before what could be called the most challenging years of life – the teen years!
Not only will these tools and skills help our kids, but we as parents are also their first teachers, so we need to model them!
When our kids leave their dirty socks on the floor for the umpteenth time even though, the laundry basket is right there, we get triggered and we feel not heard, not seen, and not understood.
That can be triggering not because of "who our child" is as a person (refraining from using labels like ‘lazy’ or ‘inconsiderate’…), but because a trigger is a pattern from the past (many of us were not seen or heard as kids…). And the only way to manage triggers from the past are to dig deeper – a Master Certified Parent Coach like me, can help unearth the roots of our triggers and apply skills to heal them – which is what I do, and it’s changing the lives of families around the world.
In the meantime, we need to develop COPING SKILLS to handle the ups and downs of parenting, and these are primarily based on sensory calming tools and stimulation of vagus nerve fibers.