FREE Coping Skills Guide For You and Your Family
Not sure what to do?
Self-care fills our cup. But what about more immediate needs like when our child is experiencing big emotions and they need to regulate, or you as a parent need to regulate? We're not in a position to stop, drop and take a bubble bath each time our kid has big emotions toward us.
With an amped-up nervous system, we will struggle with conscious gentle parenting. We need sensory calming tools that are known to down-regulate our nervous system.
For your child, an amped-up nervous system impacts their behaviors. But addressing their behaviors when they're emotionally heightened doesn't work unless you're using threats, demands, time-outs, punishments, or giving-in. These also don't work in the long run and deteriorate the child-parent relationship.
Many of us didn't learn how to manage our distressing emotions growing up. about coping skills to support us during distress. Even after researching it all as a parent yourself, you'll come to learn that it comes down to this: it starts with your body. We need to address what's happening there, before going to the feelings or addressing the mind.
Start to Develop Your Top 5 Go-To Tools for Coping during distress, and start practicing.
Grab a Copy of the Guide Now.
When our nervous system is “negatively” activated (for layman’s terms here…), what happens in the body is a cascade of responses including the shutting off of the "rational" brain or pre-frontal cortex. Some experts use the phrase “when emotions go up, intelligence goes down” simply to denote how we make less rational or supportive choices when we are in the throes of emotional experiences. And here’s the deal – we always have emotions. Emotions underly thoughts and actions. It’s just that some emotions knock us out of our self-regulated element. And then, we sometimes say things or do things we regret later…
For kids, the brain doesn’t fully mature until age 25+, so learning about Coping Tools and having open conversations about them while offering regular practice for using and normalizing them, gives our kids an advantage to face the ups and downs of life.
I am a Certified Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence Coach For Kids and, a Certified Master Parenting Coach, focussing my practice on pre-teens and their parents. Not only will these tools and skills help our kids, but we as parents are also their first teachers, so we need to model them!
When our kids leave their dirty socks on the floor for the umpteenth time even though, the laundry basket is right there, we get triggered and we feel not heard, not seen, and not understood.
That can be triggering not because of "who our child" is as a person (refraining from using labels like ‘lazy’ or ‘inconsiderate’…), but because a trigger is a pattern from the past (many of us were not seen or heard as kids…). And the only way to manage triggers from the past are to dig deeper – a Master Certified Parent Coach like me, can help unearth the roots of our triggers and apply skills to support you in creating coherence around them. This work is changing the lives of families around the world.
In the meantime, we need to develop COPING SKILLS to handle the ups and downs of parenting, and these are primarily based on sensory calming tools.