Care Tags can help.
Get started by downloading these Care Tags and learn how to use them to create a deeper understanding of your child and how you can meet their emotional needs.
The child-brain doesn’t fully mature until age 25+? This means that children may feel challenged in understanding and managing their emotions and will need the understanding of attuned caregivers to help them out.
The problem is that as busy adults who are already feeling spent and sometimes confused on this parenting journey, it can be hard to pinpoint what our child is feeling when they are feeling it. All we can see is the behaviour they exhibit.
Unfortunately, if we misunderstand our child’s emotional outbursts it can lead to some negative consequences. But preparing ourselves in advance with Care Tags – a fun parent/child activity inspired by Jodi Smith MSW, LCSW, RPT-S, we can help our children on the path towards emotional intelligence and understanding their feelings and needs. This is a huge life skill that many of us did not grow up explicitly learning. Care Tags make it easier for both parent and child to manage the big emotions that kids are inevitably going to have.
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What are Care Tags?
Care tags are special cards you can create with your child to determine what your child’s feelings and needs are when emotions get big, and how you can help your child in those times.
Name the behaviour or habit that is being exhibited.
Identify the feelings that are behind the behaviour.
Describe how the child’s needs can be met with emotional health and empathy in mind.
Example: When I cry, I am feeling sad. I need a hug.
Example: When I stomp and throw things, I am feeling angry. I need mom or dad to listen to me.
What's interesting is...
You'd be surprised by what many kids actually need when they feel a certain emotion. For example, when my five-year old daughter is frustrated, she told me she needs to "cut paper" or "squish a toy."
She's indicating to me that she needs a specific sensory stimulation to help her release her emotional energy. This is a beautiful thing to learn about our child!
How to talk to your child about these Care Tags.
Show them to your child and describe what it’s about.
Talk about some basic behaviours: stomping, screaming, crying and ask how your child feels when they do this.
Ask what he/she needs when they feel this way. Do not try to give them an answer or correct their answer – they get to decide what they need; and this can change as they grow.
What about confusing behaviours? Like hitting or belittling others? “What do think you need when you hit someone?”
Continue to talk about feelings and needs throughout your days with your kids.
Who is Ashley Anjilien Kumar?
She goes by “The Confidence Coach” and resides in Canada with her two amazing kids and husband. For the last 21 years, Ashley has worked with kids and now helps parents too.
“As a Wisdom Coach for kids and Parenting Coach, I help families create cohesive, connected and expressive teams where the primary focus is to help kids gain sensational self-confidence and soaring self-esteem, while helping parents overcome hurdles that prevent them from achieving the supportive and peaceful family system they desire. For kids, I use a 6 step system rooted in story-telling and multi-sensory learning to go from disempowered, disengaged and unmotivated to self-empowered, self-connected and self-motivated. With parents, I have unique 13 step approach that allows us to unearth subconscious parenting patterns that play a role in the family’s challenges and shift them so that parents can grow into conscious, confident and empowered family leaders with the help of support, tools and strategies.” – Ashley Anjlien Kumar
She is the author of 3 books, an internationally recognized speaker and coach, and workshop facilitator.
She carries several certifications, here are a few: Certified Wisdom™ Coach, Certified Parent Coach, Somatic Trauma Therapy, SEL Facilitator, Trauma-Informed Educator, RYT200
When she’s not working, she’s spending time with her kids, studying and researching more about human development, or enjoying yoga, dance and cultural experiences.
"Thanks Ashley for your explanations and enthusiasm. I have since noticed my daughter applying the concepts and she is now quite interested in journaling and getting her feelings out. The crafts and concepts were made fun and easy to understand. She uses her 'failure' box and seems to get a sense of reduced stress from it. I am quite happy with the experience overall and I would recommend it to friends and colleagues."
- Apryl Gladue, parent
Ashley is incredibly gifted in her ability to connect with children. She offers advanced personal growth topics to children in a way they can fully understand, integrate and have FUN with! She brings so much passion and enthusiasm to every interaction, and easily inspires kids to both embrace and embody her brilliant teachings.
She holds loving, supportive space for the expansion of the entire family system. I am so grateful for her impact on our world and highly recommend her as a coach, teacher and mentor!"
-Toni Harris, Mother of an 8 year old one-on-one coaching participant.
“I feel confident it was money well spent! I’m loving my new calm home; and even though the sessions were for my daughter, my son is so much happier too - thank you, thank you, thank you!"
-Holly Twerdochlib, mother of 12 year old child (One-on-One Child Coaching and Parent Coaching)