Oh wait? Your kid didn't come with a manual? Gosh darn it! Why not?
Well here's something to help you.
Your child has negative thoughts and feelings - don't tell them to feel better - do this instead.
Child not taking any "chances" in life - don't tell them to try harder - do this instead.
Unhealthy habits? Do this.
Complaining? Whining? Blaming? Do this.